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zakboy
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« Reply #2310 on: February 26, 2012, 12:11:19 AM » |
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A girl said to me:
"Leave the first letter of my fan-y and you got my first name."
"Really?", I replied, "Your name's Unt?"
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2311 on: February 26, 2012, 12:14:33 AM » |
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I visited a zoo the other day, but the only animal in the whole place, was a single dog.
Needless to say, it was a Shih-Tzu.
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2312 on: February 26, 2012, 12:20:46 AM » |
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I went to see the doctor today about a disgusting lump on my arm.
After a quick examination he came to the conclusion, "that's your wife".
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2313 on: February 26, 2012, 07:20:49 PM » |
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Some friends and myself were watching the Carling Cup final at home in Swansea, when my wife came in shouting 'Someone has just thrown a brick though the window'. Turns out she was wrong, it was Charlie Adam's penalty.
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2314 on: February 26, 2012, 07:22:23 PM » |
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AA TRAFFIC ALERT: There seems to be a football on the M25............
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2315 on: February 26, 2012, 07:25:15 PM » |
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A new drug is to be released that will change lesbians into liking men again.
it's brand name is Trydicksagain !!
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2316 on: February 26, 2012, 07:27:40 PM » |
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Its a proud, proud day for Liverpool today as the unthinkable finally happened! It will go down in the history books as a moment that Liverpool Football Club and its fans will never ever forget.......Suarez only dived once in the whole game!!!!
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klogan45
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« Reply #2317 on: February 27, 2012, 05:53:49 PM » |
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A bloke walks into a bar with a parrot on his head.
"How did that get there"? asked the barman.
"I dunno" said the parrot " I woke up this morning and there it was".
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Confucius say woman who flies upside down has crack up!
He who holds The Angle Grinder of Destiny holds the fate of bikekind in his hands.
Where did that 13mm spanner go then?
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klogan45
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« Reply #2318 on: February 27, 2012, 05:55:12 PM » |
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A woman walked into a pub with a pig under her arm. The barman said " where did you get that ugly dirty animal"? "I won it in a raffle" Said the pig.  |
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Confucius say woman who flies upside down has crack up!
He who holds The Angle Grinder of Destiny holds the fate of bikekind in his hands.
Where did that 13mm spanner go then?
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klogan45
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« Reply #2319 on: February 27, 2012, 05:55:57 PM » |
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I call my wife Treasure, coz people keep asking where i dug her up.
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Confucius say woman who flies upside down has crack up!
He who holds The Angle Grinder of Destiny holds the fate of bikekind in his hands.
Where did that 13mm spanner go then?
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klogan45
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« Reply #2320 on: February 27, 2012, 06:00:07 PM » |
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Paddy, Murphey and Seamus were talking about their wives. Paddy said " If my wife was a bird she would be a dove because she is so sweet and peaceful" Murphey said " If my wife was a bird she would be a robin as she has beautiful breasts" Seamus said " My wife would be a thrush....coz she's an irritating ladies part. (Tyring to keep it clean and stretch your imaginations ) |
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Confucius say woman who flies upside down has crack up!
He who holds The Angle Grinder of Destiny holds the fate of bikekind in his hands.
Where did that 13mm spanner go then?
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zakboy
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« Reply #2321 on: February 27, 2012, 08:43:14 PM » |
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zakboy
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« Reply #2322 on: February 28, 2012, 05:29:57 AM » |
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The program 'stop my stutter' with Gareth Gates was typical BBC programming.
all repeats
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zakboy
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« Reply #2323 on: February 28, 2012, 05:32:45 AM » |
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A blonde, brunette and a red-head were trapped on a island 20 miles from shore. The red-head started swimming and got tired after 2 miles and turned around and swam back. Then the brunette started to swim and after 7 miles of swimming she turned back. The blonde jumped in and swam 17 miles got tired and turned back.
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zakboy
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« Reply #2324 on: February 28, 2012, 05:33:45 AM » |
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Charlotte Church is said to be "sickened and disgusted" to learn that News of the World reporters were listening in on her private conversations. She was particularly gutted when she realised that some of her phone calls had higher audience figures than her Channel 4 chat show.
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