August 10, 2022, 08:34:13 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News: Manky Monkey Motors Merchandise now available Cool Items at cool prices http://www.mankymonkeymotors.co.uk/merchandise.html
 
   Home   Help Search Calendar Gallery Login Register  
Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 177
  Print  
Author Topic: paddy & murphy  (Read 284459 times)
zakboy
Hero Member
*****

Karma: 179
Posts: 5296



« on: May 26, 2011, 05:15:43 PM »

Paddy and Murphy were crossing the road when Murphy was struck and knocked down by a car, paddy dialed 999 and asked for a ambulance,..the operater ask what the problem was, to which paddy replied "me mate Murphy's been knocked down", the operater asked "do you have an address there sir", to which paddy replied "yes he,s outside 73 eucalyptus avenue", at which point the operater asked "can you spell that for me sir", at which point a very puzzled paddy not able to spell it fell silent, after ten min's of the operater trying to regain contact with paddy  paddy finale replied "its ok iv just dragged him round to oak street" o.a.k. s.t.r.e.e.t                                                                                    
« Last Edit: February 16, 2012, 02:47:59 AM by zakboy » Logged

Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
zakboy
Hero Member
*****

Karma: 179
Posts: 5296



« Reply #1 on: May 27, 2011, 06:10:42 AM »

paddy said to Murphy "whats that you carrying under your arm", Murphy said "it,s a flask" paddy ask,s "well what dose it do",Murphy say,s "it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold", paddy ask,s "well what you got in it then" Murphy replies " two cups off coffee and a choc ice"
Logged

Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
zakboy
Hero Member
*****

Karma: 179
Posts: 5296



« Reply #2 on: May 27, 2011, 02:36:04 PM »

paddy and Murphy were towing a horse box along the motorway when they were pulled over by the police for speeding,when questioned by the police on why they were speeding paddy said "we are trying to get a non runner to kempton park in time for the 3.15"
Logged

Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
zakboy
Hero Member
*****

Karma: 179
Posts: 5296



« Reply #3 on: May 27, 2011, 07:58:35 PM »

paddy and Murphy were siting in a bar watching an item of news on the TV, the item of news concerned a man threatening to jump off a high rise building, paddy says to Murphy "i bet you 20 quid he jumps", Murphy says "Na he wont", anyway the guy jumps and paddy says to Murphy "you owe me 20 quid" Murphy hands over the 20 quid but paddy hands it back and says "i cant take your money Murphy i cheated i had already seen it on the early er news", Murphy says "so did i but i dint think he would do it again"
Logged

Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
zakboy
Hero Member
*****

Karma: 179
Posts: 5296



« Reply #4 on: May 27, 2011, 09:41:38 PM »

sorry but as a parrot breeder i could not resist this please note this is not for kids. why not to swear in front of a parrot http://videosift.com/video/Swearing-Parrot
« Last Edit: March 12, 2012, 07:20:57 PM by zakboy » Logged

Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
zakboy
Hero Member
*****

Karma: 179
Posts: 5296



« Reply #5 on: May 27, 2011, 11:42:41 PM »

paddy and Murphy were walking down the street when Murphy found a mirror, he picked it up and looked in to it and stood puzzled scratching his head, he walk a few yards further on stoped looked in the mirror looking puzzled scratching his head, this went on for twenty Min's, paddy finale got fed up and said to Murphy "whats that you found Murphy", Murphy "said its a photo", paddy said "a photo of what" Murphy replied "its some bloke i seem to recognise but just cant put a name to him",paddy said "give it hear lets have a look" Murphy handed paddy the mirror paddy looked in to the mirror and said "you thick tw-t Murphy its a photo of me"
« Last Edit: May 28, 2011, 12:12:04 AM by zakboy » Logged

Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
zakboy
Hero Member
*****

Karma: 179
Posts: 5296



« Reply #6 on: May 28, 2011, 07:19:09 AM »

paddy and Murphy were standing at the bus stop when a lorry drove past loaded with turf.Murphy says "that's what I'm going to do when i win the lottery",paddy say "what drive a lorry" Murphy say "no send me grass to be cut
« Last Edit: May 29, 2011, 05:44:42 PM by zakboy » Logged

Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
klogan45
Hero Member
*****

Karma: 30
Posts: 3394



« Reply #7 on: May 29, 2011, 04:54:39 PM »

Paddy and murphy were walking down the street. Paddy bent down and picked up a paypacket with 900 in it. Then he started crying his eyes out. "What's up Paddy, you've just found 900 and your crying!"
Looked at murphy with tears in his eyes he sobbed " Look at the tax the bstrds have stoped me"
« Last Edit: May 29, 2011, 07:51:37 PM by klogan45 » Logged

Confucius say woman who flies upside down has crack up!

He who holds The Angle Grinder of Destiny holds the fate of bikekind in his hands.

Where did that 13mm spanner go then?
Bus Boy
Hero Member
*****

Karma: 9
Posts: 1008



« Reply #8 on: May 30, 2011, 03:13:26 PM »

paddy & murphy was walking down the road,when paddy noticed a sign saying 'TREE FELLERS WANTED' . he turns to murphy & says''shame theres only two of us''...........
Logged

I never wanted to be normal anyways!
zakboy
Hero Member
*****

Karma: 179
Posts: 5296



« Reply #9 on: May 30, 2011, 03:31:11 PM »

 Grin Grin Grin i love um keep um comin
Logged

Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
zakboy
Hero Member
*****

Karma: 179
Posts: 5296



« Reply #10 on: May 30, 2011, 03:47:03 PM »

paddy was walking round to murphys on halloween night,as he aproched murphys door he noticed a large pair of pink platform boots on his door step,when he gets in to murphys he says to murphy "what you left them boots on the door step for" murphy says "its to stop the kids knocking me door trick or treating",paddys says well hows that work then" murphy says "they think gary glitter lives hear"
Logged

Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
Bus Boy
Hero Member
*****

Karma: 9
Posts: 1008



« Reply #11 on: May 30, 2011, 04:04:41 PM »

two irish gentlemen of a certain persuasion,Micheal Fitzpatrick & Patrick Fitzmicheal...........................




sorry!
Logged

I never wanted to be normal anyways!
klogan45
Hero Member
*****

Karma: 30
Posts: 3394



« Reply #12 on: May 30, 2011, 04:14:33 PM »

Two scots fellas of a certain persuasion....
Ben down and Phil MacCavity.
Logged

Confucius say woman who flies upside down has crack up!

He who holds The Angle Grinder of Destiny holds the fate of bikekind in his hands.

Where did that 13mm spanner go then?
zakboy
Hero Member
*****

Karma: 179
Posts: 5296



« Reply #13 on: May 30, 2011, 04:16:08 PM »

what happend to paddy and murphy  Cry Cry Grin
Logged

Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
Bus Boy
Hero Member
*****

Karma: 9
Posts: 1008



« Reply #14 on: May 30, 2011, 04:19:34 PM »

probly saw pat & micheal .............
Logged

I never wanted to be normal anyways!
Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 177
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.18 | SMF © 2013, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!