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bitzman5
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« Reply #2355 on: March 05, 2012, 11:16:12 PM » |
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Paddy has has just got his second question right on Who wants to be a millionaire and is now on £200 , Heres the third question , Who was the Great Train Robber?Was it (A) Ronnie Biggs ? ( B) Ronnie Barker? (c)Ronnie Parker ? (D) Ronnie Wood? , Paddy says "Well Chris ve had a lovely time and Im going to take the £200, ..... Chris .". Are you bloody stupid ?You have all your life lines left " Paddy , " I might be stupid ,... but i'm not a bloody grass , " !!
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May your gardian angel fly faster than you can ride
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zakboy
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« Reply #2356 on: March 06, 2012, 07:11:28 AM » |
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2357 on: March 06, 2012, 07:12:35 AM » |
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I read the paper at an angle
I was taught never to look at the sun directly
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2358 on: March 06, 2012, 07:13:07 AM » |
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Got a goldfish today, however I did an acid test on it and it turns out it's not real gold.
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2359 on: March 06, 2012, 07:15:04 AM » |
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I went to my Jewish friend's house,
He was peeling off the wallpaper,
I said,"Oh,are you decorating?".
He said,"No,Moving house".
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2360 on: March 06, 2012, 07:21:03 AM » |
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What do you call Justin Bieber on Neptune?
Not far enough.
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2361 on: March 06, 2012, 07:25:41 AM » |
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I've just applied to take part in an adult movie.
The advert says that male applicants must be bigger than 7 inches.
I should be fine then, I'm 5ft 9.
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2362 on: March 06, 2012, 07:26:59 AM » |
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The UN aren't very happy about the presidential vote in Russia on Sunday.
I hear they're dis-putin the results.
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2363 on: March 06, 2012, 07:29:07 AM » |
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My blind date was half an hour late and I was on my third pint.
Eventually, this big fat lass comes into the pub and waddles over.
"I'm so sorry I'm late" she says, then does a twirl. "I'm worth the wait though, aren't I?"
"Well you would be if you were made of gold."
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2364 on: March 06, 2012, 07:29:51 AM » |
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Benitez: i want to manage a 'top side that can fight for titles'.
He probably isn't going to chelsea then.
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2365 on: March 06, 2012, 07:38:26 AM » |
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I was playing golf with my mate the other day when I decided to bring up the subject of the wife's birthday.
I said 'I got her a new bag and belt' and my friend replied 'How thoughtful! I'm sure she'll be chuffed she's got such a caring husband'
Then I replied 'Thanks, fu-king vacuum cleaner hasn't worked for months'
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2366 on: March 06, 2012, 07:39:46 AM » |
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The Chinese make their first announcement as to a member of their London 2012 olympic team.
Hoping to win gold in the javelin competition, they've selected,
Hu Flung Dat
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2367 on: March 06, 2012, 07:41:21 AM » |
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Wayne Rooney and his father are to remake a popular British 60's sitcom.
Klepto and Son.
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2368 on: March 07, 2012, 06:29:08 AM » |
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Lindsay Lohan's ego took a blow today after finding out that members of the paparazzi mistook 66-year-old singer and actress, Debbie Harry, for Lohan while camped outside a New York hotel.
When asked about it the celebrity said: "it is really awful to think that people perceive me as a wrinkly, washed up whore".
Lohan, however, is yet to comment
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2369 on: March 07, 2012, 06:29:41 AM » |
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My mate was killed when his girlfriend sat on his face - he was dead chuffed
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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