Mary had a little....

[tbone]

Mary had a little lamb
She kept it on a pylon
10,000 volts up its bum
Turned its wool to Nylon


Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead
Now Mary takes the lamb to school
Between two chunks of bread


Mary had a little lamb
she also had a duck,
she put them in the garden
to see if they would f...


Mary had a little lamb
she also had a bear
I often saw her little lamb
but never saw her bare

Mary had a little lamb
she fed it on cream crackers
every time it dropped a crumb
she kicked it in its Knackers


mary had a little lamb
with which she used to sleep
that lamb turned out to be a ram
and now she has some sheep


Mary had a little lamb
its fleece was white and whispy
along came foot and mouth disease
and now its black and crispy


Mary had a little lamb
she kept it in a bucket
every time the lamb got out
the bull dog tried to F***et


mary had a little lamb
she also had a cat
tommy cooper came along
and killed it
just like that


 

[gazzagood]

nice one t/b made me smile 

[blair]

mary had a little lamb

the doctors were astonished 

[tony b]

jack and gill went up the hill
to fetch a pale of water
gill forgot to take the pill
and now shes got a daughter



jack and gill went up the hill
so jack could lick gills f***y
jack got a shock
and a mouth full of c**k
coz gills a pre-op tranny

[BikerGran]

Higher up the mountain, greener grows the grass

Down comes a billy goat, sliding on his........







.....overcoat!

[cideray]

little boy blue come blow your horn                                                                     the sheeps in the meadow the cows in the corn
where is the boy who looks after the sheep
he,s under the haystack with little bow peep                                               

[klogan45]

Mary had a little Lamb
The Doctor was surprised,
but when Old McDonald had a farm
he could'nt believe his eyes.

[klogan45]

Mary had a baby
she called him Sonny Jim
she took him to the bathtub
to see if he could swim
He swam to the bottom
he swam to the top
Mary got excited
and pulled him by the........
Cocktail whiskey
seven and six a glass
If you do not like it
stick it up your ............
ass no questions tell no lies
ever seen a chinaman
doing up his..............
Fly away peter
fly away paul
If you do not like it
stick it up your...........
all things bright and beautiful...........

[BikerGran]

Mary Mary quite contrary
How does your garden grow?

Listen you prat I live in a flat
How the heck would I know?

[klogan45]

Thats a new one for me, BG, loved it. Clean enough to use in school with the 3rd years too. Thanks


Mary had a little skirt

with splits right up the sides

and everywhere that Mary went

the boys could see her thighs.

Mary had another skirt

’twas split right up the front

…But she didn’t wear that one often

[BikerGran]

There was a little girl,

Who had a little curl

Right in the middle of her forehead.

And when she was good,

She was very very good,

But when she was bad

She got a fur coat, jewels, a Waterfront apartment and a sports car.

[klogan45]

Loved that one too, Bg, keep 'em coming. ( I need some new material!!! )


here was a little girl,

Who had a little curl

Right in the middle of her forehead.

And when she was good,

She was very very good,

But when she was bad

She was fantastic.

[blair]

mary had a little bike
she rode it through the mud
everytime the wheel went round
a spoke went up her F_______

[klogan45]

Mary had a little bike
She rode it back to front
Every time the wheel went round
The spoke went up her.........
Trouser leg coz she was'nt wearing cycle clips

[klogan45]

Mary had a little pig
she could'nt stop it grunting
she tied it to a 5 bar gate
and kicked its little head in.