Manky Monkey Motors

Its probably an old one but it made me smile.

                                      THE MANS RULES.
Finally. The guys' side of the story. We always hear 'the rules' from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note, these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If its up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.
   You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports, its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong  hints do not
    work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. Thats what we do. Sympathy is what your
    girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissable in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and
   void after 7 days.
1. If you think " does my bum look big in this " it probably does. Don't ask us.
1. If something can be interpreted two ways and one of these ways makes you sad or angry, we ment
    the other one.
1. You can ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best
    how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during the commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default setting. Peach, for example, is a fruit,  not a
   colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying
    but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to dicuss such topics as cars and
   trikes.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape, round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.
    But did you know men really don't mind that? Its like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this on to as many wonen as you can - to give them a bigger laugh.

lmoa  ;D  ;D  ;D

That's brilliant  ;D