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zakboy
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« Reply #2415 on: March 19, 2012, 09:26:58 PM » |
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I walked into McDonalds today when a rather large woman was stood in front of me in the queue.
As the assistant came to the counter I shouted, "I'll have what ever she's having."
"But you dont even know what I'm going to order," she chuckled.
"I know," I replied. "But I've got 5 hungry lads waiting in the car."
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zakboy
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« Reply #2416 on: March 20, 2012, 09:22:53 PM » |
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I'm going out on the pull tonight.
Just started my own rickshaw business.
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zakboy
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« Reply #2417 on: March 20, 2012, 09:25:12 PM » |
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If a brown haired woman and a blonde haired woman jumped off a building, which one would hit the ground first?
The brown haired women...... because the blonde would have stopped for directions
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zakboy
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« Reply #2418 on: March 20, 2012, 09:31:58 PM » |
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The wife's been ill recently so she asked me to boil the kettle.
How the fu-k was I supposed to know it didn't go in a saucepan.
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zakboy
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« Reply #2419 on: March 20, 2012, 09:39:11 PM » |
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I've just found Katie Price's first sex tape but I just can't watch it.
It's on Betamax.
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zakboy
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« Reply #2420 on: March 21, 2012, 12:08:38 AM » |
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Billy stops Paddy in Dublin and asks for the quickest way to Cork.
Paddy says, "Are you on foot or in the car?"
Billy says, "In the car."
Paddy says, "That's the quickest way."
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zakboy
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« Reply #2421 on: March 21, 2012, 12:10:28 AM » |
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Two Irish couples decide to spice up their sex lives by swapping partners.
Afterwards, Paddy says, "That was fu-king great! I wonder how the girls got on."
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zakboy
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« Reply #2422 on: March 21, 2012, 08:27:44 AM » |
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wife said ''men cant multi task'','Bitch i just cleaned the skid marks off the toilet whilst having a p-ss''
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zakboy
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« Reply #2423 on: March 21, 2012, 08:28:28 AM » |
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"I'll have you know I came second in a beauty contest when I was younger." Boasted my wife.
"Oh yeah." I laughed, "Two of you in it was there?"
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zakboy
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« Reply #2424 on: March 21, 2012, 08:31:14 AM » |
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Tell all your lady friends I can get tampons for free. No strings attached.
For a limited period only
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zakboy
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« Reply #2425 on: March 21, 2012, 08:32:02 AM » |
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Finally lost my virginity and I got nominated for an award!
Best new comer
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zakboy
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« Reply #2426 on: March 21, 2012, 09:25:29 PM » |
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Will our next contestant be able to handle the pain here on The Torture Channel?
Find out after the break.
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zakboy
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« Reply #2427 on: March 21, 2012, 09:26:37 PM » |
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Anyone noticed that some of the contestants on the Apprentice are growing stubble to look like Alan Sugar?
Think the girls are wasting their time
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zakboy
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« Reply #2428 on: March 21, 2012, 09:28:21 PM » |
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I said to my Wife, "It's like you're my drug"
"Aww because you're addicted to me?" she said. "No because you're ruining my life.." I replied
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zakboy
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« Reply #2429 on: March 21, 2012, 09:35:52 PM » |
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Being told that there is a cure for dyslexia is music to my a-se
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