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zakboy
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« Reply #2325 on: February 28, 2012, 05:37:33 AM » |
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BBC Scotland News : " Rangers fined £50,000 "
I'm pleased. It's about time their luck changed.
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2326 on: February 28, 2012, 05:38:30 AM » |
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Since my so called father told me I was adopted, I've been on a search to find my true parents
After several months of searching I found out I'm a child of two Vampires
I haven't been able to look at myself in the mirror since.
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2327 on: February 28, 2012, 05:39:05 AM » |
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The missus always gets angry with me because i'd rather eat prawns than make love to her.
She says i'm such a shellfish lover...
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2328 on: February 28, 2012, 05:39:58 AM » |
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What's the difference between a pigeon and Winnie Mandela?
A pigeon gets to sit on Nelson's column.
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2329 on: February 28, 2012, 05:40:38 AM » |
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I was so happy with my passport photo, I was thinking of getting it framed.
Then again, who wants to see a picture of my passport?
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2330 on: February 28, 2012, 05:41:43 AM » |
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The I.O.C are carrying out an investigation into the conduct of the Ethiopian Athletics coach after it was revealed that he glues toast to the ceiling to enhance the performance of the High Jump team.
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2331 on: February 28, 2012, 05:50:46 AM » |
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I'm sick of people telling me to live each day like it's my last.
How the fu-k am I supposed to know what my last day will be like?
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2332 on: February 28, 2012, 05:52:40 AM » |
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I was stuck behind a learner driver car today. He was all over the road, driving very slow and stalling every few hundred yards...
I became worried when he pulled over to collect his student.
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2333 on: February 28, 2012, 05:54:28 AM » |
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Do you know those people that always have to get one up on you?
You know the type. You've been to Timbuktu, they've been to Timbukthree.
Everyone knows one dont they?
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2334 on: February 28, 2012, 06:05:32 AM » |
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Flights to England are cancelled again due to the dust cloud caused by the opening of the Liverpool trophy cabinet.
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #2335 on: February 28, 2012, 06:06:58 AM » |
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My wife just said "Would you love me more if I had liposuction on my stomach?"
I said "I would love you just the same."
"Aww, really babes?" she smiled.
"Of course" I replied.
"When I'm drunk or if I want something."
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klogan45
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« Reply #2336 on: February 28, 2012, 05:16:28 PM » |
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A woman went to the doctor as she was not feeling well. He gave her a full medical and said " You have acute angina"
The woman looked at him and replied " I came to be diagnosed, not admired"
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Confucius say woman who flies upside down has crack up!
He who holds The Angle Grinder of Destiny holds the fate of bikekind in his hands.
Where did that 13mm spanner go then?
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klogan45
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« Reply #2337 on: February 28, 2012, 05:18:03 PM » |
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I saw a picture of Charlotte Church today. Church!!! More like a cathedral!
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Confucius say woman who flies upside down has crack up!
He who holds The Angle Grinder of Destiny holds the fate of bikekind in his hands.
Where did that 13mm spanner go then?
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klogan45
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« Reply #2338 on: February 28, 2012, 05:20:50 PM » |
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A blonde got shipwrecked on a desert island. The following day a lifeboat drifted ashore. She chopped it up to build a raft  The perfect man, theh perfect woman and father christmas were walking along and saw a twenty pound note on the floor. Who picked it up? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The perfect man. The others are not real I'll get my coat, shall I? |
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Confucius say woman who flies upside down has crack up!
He who holds The Angle Grinder of Destiny holds the fate of bikekind in his hands.
Where did that 13mm spanner go then?
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klogan45
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« Reply #2339 on: February 28, 2012, 05:31:42 PM » |
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A chinese bloke was sat in a restaurant in New York when a drunken yank staggered over and hit him. "That's for Pearl Harbour" He shouted.
The chinese chap said " That was the Japanese" The yank said "Chinese, Japanese it's all the same to me" and walked off.
With that Mick walked up to a jewish couple and punched the pair of them saying "That's for the titanic"
"That was an Iceberg" Said the man. "Iceberg,Goldberg, It's all the same to me" said Mick.
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Confucius say woman who flies upside down has crack up!
He who holds The Angle Grinder of Destiny holds the fate of bikekind in his hands.
Where did that 13mm spanner go then?
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