|
zakboy
|
 |
« Reply #2100 on: February 03, 2012, 07:46:25 PM » |
|
Happy Erectile Dysfunction Awareness Day. Your support is helping thousands of men across the country.
Keep it up!
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
|
|
|
|
zakboy
|
|
« Reply #2101 on: February 03, 2012, 07:48:06 PM » |
|
My Dad wanted me to have everything he never had,
So he got me a job.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
|
|
|
|
zakboy
|
|
« Reply #2102 on: February 03, 2012, 07:49:29 PM » |
|
My psychic ex-girlfriend broke up with me before we met!
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
|
|
|
|
zakboy
|
|
« Reply #2103 on: February 03, 2012, 07:52:20 PM » |
|
Government to cap benefits.
Couldn't they just cap benefit claimants?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
|
|
|
|
zakboy
|
|
« Reply #2104 on: February 03, 2012, 07:54:22 PM » |
|
I was chatting to a woman in a bar, when the subject of kids came up.
I said, "My son has had to wear nappies for his entire life."
"That's awful," she said, "what's wrong with him?"
I replied, "Nothing. He's two and a half."
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
|
|
|
|
zakboy
|
|
« Reply #2105 on: February 03, 2012, 07:56:28 PM » |
|
On holiday in Ibiza last year I pulled a bird in a club who was quite good looking apart from a hump in her back.
I took her down to the beech and I started digging a hole when she asked "what are you doing?"
I replied "Its a sh-g I want not a fu-king seesaw"
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
|
|
|
|
zakboy
|
|
« Reply #2106 on: February 03, 2012, 08:02:26 PM » |
|
John Terry was asked in a press conference "You've got a history of not shaking hands with opposing players. Will you ever apologise to wayne?"
"I'll cross that Bridge when I come to it!"
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
|
|
|
|
zakboy
|
|
« Reply #2107 on: February 04, 2012, 04:49:20 PM » |
|
Got a Viagra stuck in my throat last night.
I had a stiff neck for hours.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
|
|
|
|
zakboy
|
|
« Reply #2108 on: February 04, 2012, 04:51:26 PM » |
|
After putting on 3 pairs of socks, 6 jumpers, 6 pairs of trousers, 5 wooly hats, 4 scarfs, 2 thick coats and a pair of boots, I waddled outside.
10 seconds later I was laying face down in the snow and I couldn't move.
"You're coming with me" said the Primark security guard.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
|
|
|
|
zakboy
|
|
« Reply #2109 on: February 04, 2012, 04:55:20 PM » |
|
A man is sitting with his son eating breakfast when his son asks.. Dad, are you in the I.R.A?
' Son don't be silly of course not'
'Now dip your volunteers in your egg and drink your orange'
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
|
|
|
|
zakboy
|
|
« Reply #2110 on: February 04, 2012, 05:00:49 PM » |
|
I walked into the laundrettes and saw a blonde woman completely naked.
"Why are you nude?" I asked shyly.
She said, "Haven't you seen the sign? It says 'When finished washing remove all your clothes'"
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
|
|
|
Shafty
Full Member
Karma: 10
Posts: 132
|
|
« Reply #2111 on: February 04, 2012, 05:14:11 PM » |
|
 You is a funny man Zakboy - Question for ya. What axle U bolts do you use? Are they the standard Reliant ones or are you using 50mm ones? Just wondered. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two girls were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour. "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?" The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do." "Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette. "Are his flashers on?" The blonde turned around again. "Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Today I shall be mostly eating Jaffa Cakes.
|
|
|
|
zakboy
|
|
« Reply #2112 on: February 04, 2012, 05:48:36 PM » |
|
hi shafty, i brought and used some new original reliant ones  |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
|
|
|
Shafty
Full Member
Karma: 10
Posts: 132
|
|
« Reply #2113 on: February 04, 2012, 07:11:19 PM » |
|
Zakboy- Where did you get them from?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When we moved Lewis the goat into our flat, people kept asking:
"A goat in the flat, what about the smell?"
"Oh, don't worry, he'll get used to that."
Do you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity they can train people to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish.
If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then onto a seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that.
My dog Minton shallowed a shuttlecock. Bad Minton.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Today I shall be mostly eating Jaffa Cakes.
|
|
|
|
zakboy
|
|
« Reply #2114 on: February 04, 2012, 07:21:47 PM » |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
|
|
|
|
