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zakboy
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« Reply #1770 on: January 15, 2012, 04:22:03 AM » |
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I tell you who I blame for all the drugs in schools... The supply teachers
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #1771 on: January 15, 2012, 04:22:52 AM » |
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I hate people that ask questions even though they already know the answer..
Teachers are the worst.
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #1772 on: January 15, 2012, 04:24:32 AM » |
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Watched some porn backwards the other day.
It was a bit of an anticlimax.
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #1773 on: January 15, 2012, 04:25:49 AM » |
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In the patents office:
"I'd like to patent my new invention. It's an automatic shaving machine. You simply insert your head and then you are shaved by two extremely sharp razors."
"How can that work? The contours of every human face are different."
"Yes, but only the first time."
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #1774 on: January 15, 2012, 04:26:42 AM » |
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The phrase: "act your age, not your shoe size" is severely negated by the actions of clowns.
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #1775 on: January 15, 2012, 04:28:38 AM » |
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I'm looking for new techniques for waste disposal. You got any tips?
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #1776 on: January 15, 2012, 04:29:44 AM » |
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I'm just off the phone to my wife for the 246th time today. She called me obsessive earlier and I want to know what that means!
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #1777 on: January 15, 2012, 04:30:48 AM » |
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Costa Concordia - the only place where you are guaranteed to get your drink on the rocks
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #1778 on: January 15, 2012, 04:31:55 AM » |
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Rihanna says chains and whips excite her.
I doubt her ancestors felt that way.
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #1779 on: January 15, 2012, 04:33:15 AM » |
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Reports just in from Italy where a cruise liner is aground, say a German man has died after trying to save his sun bed.
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #1780 on: January 15, 2012, 04:34:00 AM » |
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Katie Price is selling an old Bra on Ebay.
I'm going to wait for her knickers because at least I know
she's hardly worn them.
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #1781 on: January 15, 2012, 04:34:54 AM » |
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Kerry Katona is reportedly planning to marry her new boyfriend. He's going to give her something expensive and sparkling she won't be able to say no to.
A bottle of Diamond White.
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #1782 on: January 15, 2012, 04:36:22 AM » |
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My dad told me that if i'm good at one thing, I should be good at lying, because if you're good at lying, you're good at everything.
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #1783 on: January 15, 2012, 04:37:11 AM » |
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My blonde girlfriend fancied making a meringue and asked me where to start. I said, " Well, you've probably got to beat an egg or two."
A few seconds past before she said, " At what?"
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #1784 on: January 15, 2012, 04:38:07 AM » |
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Whenever something was done to make a bad situation worse my dad used to always say it was "simply adding fuel to the fire"
I think that's why he lost his job as fireman
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