Funniest thread

And how is this relevant to me? Cos I've just been through the same procedure! Though of course being female, I only did the Picolax thing once cos I read the letter properly... and checked... and re-checked...

But I had to do THREE sachets of Picolax!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I didn't get the screen to look at cos mine was for a barium enema, so I had the pleasure of having the barium pumped in before they...........

..yes, inflated me too!

Then tipped the bed down so the stuff would run uphill!

And told me to CLENCH!!!!!!!!!! so that it wouldn't run out!

And when I told them at one point that in spite of my best efforts I was losing air (only like a slow puncture) they said, Don't let it happen or we'll have to pump you up again!

They did, however, advise me to spend quite a lot of time in the loo before even attempting to get dressed, which I did, and also spent quite a lot more time in the loo before leaving!

But there is a footnote to my story which appears to be unique to me. They warned me that whatever I passed for the next few days would probably be white as it would be coated with barium as it would take a few days to clear from my system. What they FAILED to tell me however, was the the barium coated matter - which turned out to be rather enmixed than coated, would....

SET LIKE CONCRETE IN THE BOTTOM OF THE LOO AND BLOCK IT COMPLETELY!!!!!!!

In the end I had to go to the hardware shop and get some very nasty stuff that carried all kinds of instructions about wearing gloves and safety glasses and not pouring it into the loo too quick to avoid blowbacks (I know all about them, refer to section on Picolax!) or rapid overheating in the S-bend!

Just as a footnote - my GP just phoned me with the result and it's clear! Apart from slight diverticulitis which is par for the course at my age anyway so I'm not going to worry about that!