|
bitzman5
|
 |
« on: December 14, 2012, 03:16:46 PM » |
|
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On Sears hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
Serving suggestions: Defrost.
Printed on the bottom of Tesco Tiramisu dessert:
Do not turn upside down.
On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
On most brands of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
On a Swedish chain saw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
On a toboggan:
Beware: Sledge may develop high speed under certain snow conditions.
On a knife sharpener:
Caution: knives are sharp.
On shin pads for cyclists:
Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.
On a take away coffee cup:
Caution: Hot beverages are hot.
Emergency safety procedures at a US summer camp:
In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill quickly.
In a microwave oven manual:
Do not use for drying pets.
On the back of a pilot's seat in a Nato aircraft:
Seat must be facing forward for take-off and landing.
On the bottom of a cola bottle:
Do not open here.
On a Harry Potter wizards broom:
This broom does not actually fly.
On a box of aspirin:
Do not take if allergic to aspirin.
On a bottle of laundry detergent:
Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.
On a muffin packet:
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.
In a kettle instruction manual:
The appliance is switched on by setting the 'ON/OFF' button to the 'ON' position.
On a ketchup bottle:
Instructions: Put on food.
On a bottle of rum:
Open bottle before drinking.
A car park sign:
Entrance only. Do not enter.
A sign in a street in Hong Kong:
Beware of people.
Rules on a tram in Prague:
Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be persecuted.
Sign on newly-renovated ramp entrance, USA:
Take care: new non-slip surface.
On a can of air freshener:
For use by trained personnel only.
On a bottle of baby lotion:
Keep away from children.
On a pair of socks bought in Egypt:
Do not wash.
On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle:
Some assembly required.
Personal Message (Offline)
Are we really that stupid?
« on: Today at 02:01:15 PM »
Reply with quoteQuote
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On Sears hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
Serving suggestions: Defrost.
Printed on the bottom of Tesco Tiramisu dessert:
Do not turn upside down.
On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
On most brands of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
On a Swedish chain saw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
On a toboggan:
Beware: Sledge may develop high speed under certain snow conditions.
On a knife sharpener:
Caution: knives are sharp.
On shin pads for cyclists:
Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.
On a take away coffee cup:
Caution: Hot beverages are hot.
Emergency safety procedures at a US summer camp:
In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill quickly.
In a microwave oven manual:
Do not use for drying pets.
On the back of a pilot's seat in a Nato aircraft:
Seat must be facing forward for take-off and landing.
On the bottom of a cola bottle:
Do not open here.
On a Harry Potter wizards broom:
This broom does not actually fly.
On a box of aspirin:
Do not take if allergic to aspirin.
On a bottle of laundry detergent:
Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.
On a muffin packet:
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.
In a kettle instruction manual:
The appliance is switched on by setting the 'ON/OFF' button to the 'ON' position.
On a ketchup bottle:
Instructions: Put on food.
On a bottle of rum:
Open bottle before drinking.
A car park sign:
Entrance only. Do not enter.
A sign in a street in Hong Kong:
Beware of people.
Rules on a tram in Prague:
Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be persecuted.
Sign on newly-renovated ramp entrance, USA:
Take care: new non-slip surface.
On a can of air freshener:
For use by trained personnel only.
On a bottle of baby lotion:
Keep away from children.
On a pair of socks bought in egypt:
Do not wash.
On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle:
Some assembly required.
On a can of pepper spray used for self defense:
May irritate eyes.
On a Frisbee:
Warning: may contain small parts.
In a car handbook:
In order to get out of car, open door, get out lock doors, and then close doors.
On a packet of cashew nut pieces:
Warning: This product may contain residue of nuts.
Directions for mosquito repellant:
Replacing battery: replace old battery with a new one.
On a birthday card for a one year old:
Not suitable for children aged under 36 months or less.
In a hotel bedroom:
Please do not turn on TV except when in use.
In a lift in a Japanese hotel:
Push this button in case anything happens.
On a toilet cleaning brush:
Do not use orally.
On a can of Spray paint:
Do not spray in your face.
On a TV remote:
Not Dishwasher safe.
On a blowtorch:
Not used for drying hair.
On a washing machine in a launderette:
No small children.
On a bottle of hair dye:
Do not use as Ice Cream topping.
On a push along lawn mower:
Not to be used as a hedge trimmer.
On a box of fireworks:
Do not put in mouth.
On the packaging for a wrist watch:
Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.
In a dishwasher manual:
Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.
On a toaster:
Do not use underwater.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
May your gardian angel fly faster than you can ride
|
|
|
Dslam
Sr. Member
Karma: 13
Posts: 457
Wot ho chaps, its bloody Whitworth!!
|
|
« Reply #1 on: December 14, 2012, 03:22:51 PM » |
|
On a tin of beans I bought when in the states some years ago it said "do not eat can"  |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Olds
|
|
« Reply #2 on: December 14, 2012, 04:30:35 PM » |
|
on a packet of sainsbury's salted peanuts- "Allergy advice: Contains peanuts. Not suitable for nut allergy sufferers due to manufacturing methods".
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Getting older but no wiser! Just using bigger hammers.
The answer to most problems, fire and lots of it.
|
|
|
|
Tony oily bike
|
|
« Reply #3 on: December 14, 2012, 05:48:04 PM » |
|
"Are we really that supid?" Well, have a look these and then decide.....................  |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
There's nowt as light as a hole, so add lightness.
Our lady of blessed acceleration, don't fail me now! - Elwood Blues
Nitro doesn't add power, it multiplies it! Bob Loux, running 10.07 secs @138mph on a 650 normally aspirated Triumph drag bike in 1965!
"Incontinence Hotline" - please hold.
|
|
|
|
Tony oily bike
|
|
« Reply #4 on: December 14, 2012, 05:49:14 PM » |
|
and these...........
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
There's nowt as light as a hole, so add lightness.
Our lady of blessed acceleration, don't fail me now! - Elwood Blues
Nitro doesn't add power, it multiplies it! Bob Loux, running 10.07 secs @138mph on a 650 normally aspirated Triumph drag bike in 1965!
"Incontinence Hotline" - please hold.
|
|
|
|
Tony oily bike
|
|
« Reply #5 on: December 14, 2012, 05:50:28 PM » |
|
and this
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
There's nowt as light as a hole, so add lightness.
Our lady of blessed acceleration, don't fail me now! - Elwood Blues
Nitro doesn't add power, it multiplies it! Bob Loux, running 10.07 secs @138mph on a 650 normally aspirated Triumph drag bike in 1965!
"Incontinence Hotline" - please hold.
|
|
|
|
Tony oily bike
|
|
« Reply #6 on: December 14, 2012, 05:51:30 PM » |
|
and............
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
There's nowt as light as a hole, so add lightness.
Our lady of blessed acceleration, don't fail me now! - Elwood Blues
Nitro doesn't add power, it multiplies it! Bob Loux, running 10.07 secs @138mph on a 650 normally aspirated Triumph drag bike in 1965!
"Incontinence Hotline" - please hold.
|
|
|
|
Tony oily bike
|
|
« Reply #7 on: December 14, 2012, 05:52:30 PM » |
|
and
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
There's nowt as light as a hole, so add lightness.
Our lady of blessed acceleration, don't fail me now! - Elwood Blues
Nitro doesn't add power, it multiplies it! Bob Loux, running 10.07 secs @138mph on a 650 normally aspirated Triumph drag bike in 1965!
"Incontinence Hotline" - please hold.
|
|
|
|
Tony oily bike
|
|
« Reply #8 on: December 14, 2012, 05:53:29 PM » |
|
and............
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
There's nowt as light as a hole, so add lightness.
Our lady of blessed acceleration, don't fail me now! - Elwood Blues
Nitro doesn't add power, it multiplies it! Bob Loux, running 10.07 secs @138mph on a 650 normally aspirated Triumph drag bike in 1965!
"Incontinence Hotline" - please hold.
|
|
|
|
Tony oily bike
|
|
« Reply #9 on: December 14, 2012, 05:54:23 PM » |
|
and.........
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
There's nowt as light as a hole, so add lightness.
Our lady of blessed acceleration, don't fail me now! - Elwood Blues
Nitro doesn't add power, it multiplies it! Bob Loux, running 10.07 secs @138mph on a 650 normally aspirated Triumph drag bike in 1965!
"Incontinence Hotline" - please hold.
|
|
|
|
Tony oily bike
|
|
« Reply #10 on: December 14, 2012, 05:56:09 PM » |
|
and a bit of signage.............
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
There's nowt as light as a hole, so add lightness.
Our lady of blessed acceleration, don't fail me now! - Elwood Blues
Nitro doesn't add power, it multiplies it! Bob Loux, running 10.07 secs @138mph on a 650 normally aspirated Triumph drag bike in 1965!
"Incontinence Hotline" - please hold.
|
|
|
|
Tony oily bike
|
|
« Reply #11 on: December 14, 2012, 05:57:04 PM » |
|
Think this sign kinda hits the mark....................
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
There's nowt as light as a hole, so add lightness.
Our lady of blessed acceleration, don't fail me now! - Elwood Blues
Nitro doesn't add power, it multiplies it! Bob Loux, running 10.07 secs @138mph on a 650 normally aspirated Triumph drag bike in 1965!
"Incontinence Hotline" - please hold.
|
|
|
|
klogan45
|
|
« Reply #12 on: December 14, 2012, 07:16:58 PM » |
|
Yep some people are that stupid....
I used to work for a major electrical appliance retailer and we had a memo from head office about an old lady who used to wash her poodle and put it in the oven on a low heat with the door open to dry it. She bought a microwave cooker and ................... you probably guessed that she washed her poodle and put it in the microwave to dry....... she successfully sued the manufacturer as there was no warning on the microwave abiut not drying pets.
You must have heard about the yank who bought a big Winnibago motor home?
Well being really stoopid while driving he put on the cruise control and went to make coffee. The vehicle crashed and he sued the maker. He got $500,000 and a new camper. The drivers manuals had to be updated to say that the cruise control was not an auto pilot.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Confucius say woman who flies upside down has crack up!
He who holds The Angle Grinder of Destiny holds the fate of bikekind in his hands.
Where did that 13mm spanner go then?
|
|
|
|
