Christmas cake recipe

[BikerGran]

CHRISTMAS CAKE RECIPE

 Ingredients: 1 cup of water
1tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
 lemon juice
 4 large eggs
 lots of nuts
1 bottle of vodka
2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the vodka to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the vodka again, To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the vodka is shtill OK. Try another cup....just in case. Turn off the mixerer. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick fruit off the floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a screwdriver. Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt . Or something. Who giveshz a s**t. Check the vodka. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven and pithhh in the fridge. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka and kick the cat.
Fall into bed.

CHERRY MISTMAS!

[Cabman77]

That is so funny Bobbi, hope you don`t mind if I nick it.

[BikerGran]

No but I'm gonna rag you about it on FB!

[Cabman77]

It went down quite well by the looks of it lol. many thanks Bobbi

[BikerGran]

Yes. drinking your Christmas cake is more fun than eating it.  Of course the recipe can be adjusted to use your spirit of choice, mine would be brandy!

Which reminds of something what I wrote............