Airlines

What if airlines were like paint shops? – or the other way round…

Customer: Hi, How much is your paint?
Clerk: Well sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things
Customer: Can you give me a quess? Is there an average price?
Clerk: Our lowest price is $12 per gallon, and we have 60 other prices up to $200 a a gallon.
Customer: What's the difference in the paint?
Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference; it is all the same paint.
Customer: Well then, I'd like some of that $12 paint.
Clerk: When do you intend to use the paint?
Customer: I want to paint tomorrow.It's my day off.
Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint.
Customer:When would I have to paint to get the $12 paint?
Clerk: You would have to start very late at night in about 3 weeks. But you will have to agree to start painting before Friday of that week and continue painting until at least Sunday.
Customer: You've got to be kidding?
Clerk: I'll check to see if we have any paint available.
Customer:You have shelves full of paint, I can see it!
Clerk: But that doesn't mean we have paint available. We sell only a certain number of gallons on any given weekend. Oh, and by the way, that price per gallon just went up to $16 per gallon. We don't have any more $12 paint.
Customer: The price went up as we were talking?
Clerk: Yes sir. We change the price and rules hundreds of times a day. I suggest you purchase your paint as soon as possible. How many gallons do you want?
Customer: Well, maybe 5 gallons. Make that 6 so I'll have enough.
Clerk: Oh no sir, you can't do that. If you buy paint and then don't use it, there are penalties, and possible confiscation.
Customer: WHAT?!?
Clerk: We can sell you enough paint to do your kitchen, bathroom, hall and north bedroom, but if you stop before you do the bedroom, you will lose your remaining paint.
Customer: What does if matter whether I use all the paint? It's mine. I paid for it!
Clerk: Sir, we make plans based on the assumption that all our paint is used, every drop. If it isn't all used, it causes us all sorts of problems.
Customer: This is crazy! I suppose something terrible happens if I don't continue painting past midnight Saturday?
Clerk: Oh yes! Every gallon you bought automatically becomes the $200 paint.
Customer: To heck with this! I'll buy my paint somewhere else.
Clerk: I don't think so, sir. You may be able to buy paint for your bathroom and bedroom, and for your kitchen and dining room from someone else, but you won't be able to paint your connecting hall and stairway from anyone but us. And I should point out that if you paint in only one direction, it will be $300 a gallon.
Customer: I thought your most expensive paint is $200?
Clerk: That's if you paint around the room to the point where you started. A hallway is different.
Customer: That is absolutely insane!
Clerk: I don't make the rules, Sir. But thanks for painting with your favourite airline!