Manky Monkey Motors

So. New Year, new challenges.
I thought I'd try something completely different & definitely out of my comfort zone. So I've just got home from a sports hall near Guildford where I had my first ever roller skating lesson. I've never even worn a skate before in my life.
So-o-o
nothing broken, though my self esteem may never recover :) Fortunately nobody will ever know I was there, right?
A dozen 7 year olds, who got skates for Christmas, doing 90mph around the hall, a couple of their Mums -"Ooh, I haven't skated for years. Can I have a go -Whee!"
-& some silly bugger who had to use a wheeled Zimmer frame to roll very, very slowly around the hall.
Deeply, deeply humiliating -yup, I'll be back next week :)

I'd have paid to see that haha.

Whatever you do, when the fall comes don't put out your hand to save yourself - you'll be risking a broken collarbone... Take the fall like a man!

Or your arm. Missus was in plaster for a month after a visit to the ice rink.

So you drive out to Guildford to a roller rink, yet there is an ice rink within walking distance of where you live !  ???
Must be a female involved somehow.

Only the instructor. Heather & her husband Pete organise roller discos & skating parties. They hold a regular skate night at the Spectrum sports centre in Guildford.
Difficult enough roller skating on a floor, let alone an ice rink!
Nice people. Pete spent an hour walking round & round the hall with me, discussing punk rock.
"We need 2 emergency contact numbers -just in case you're unconscious. Try not to be cos there's a 4 hour wait at Frimley Hospital at the moment -we checked".

Maybe you could give Farnborough sports centre a bell and ask them if they could re-start roller skating in their hall as they used to have roller skating sessions there many moons ago, plus there’s the benefit that its only a short roll to Jackhammer, and Frimley Park Hospital is only a mile or so!!   ;D


Maybe have a go at this when you’ve ‘mastered’ the skates...............

https://www.facebook.com/clareriggsltd/

The real reason?

Perhaps I’ve sussed it, esp as our leader is a fan of American Graffitti..............

A new business venture, “Andy’s Drive In” with roller skating waiters / waitresses!  8)  8)

Id've suggested the Manky Diner -but maybe not. :)
I was at Ash Manor sports hall, which is only about 2 miles from Frimley Hospital as the air ambulance flies.

Ice skating is a lot easier than roller skating!

Maybe, but it kinda relies on an ice rink Bobbi.
Basingstoke has an Olympic sized rink, (& it's own ice hockey team -the Basingstoke Bisons), but I could roller skate just about anywhere -or anywhere smooth anyway, any time.
Haven't rushed out & bought a pair of skates yet, although Mr Loon offered me a pair yesterday -but I did invest in my own set of pads when I was in London this week. £10.
Knees, elbows, wrists & bumpsy daisy.

I think you've lost your marbles....

Was with a bunch of friends a long time ago, when one particular pal stood up, said “ma balls are spherical”, promptly sat down and carried on as if nothing had happened.

The rest of us were a laughing mess............  ;D

Boomps a Daisy, from 1939. That'll be fun watching Sir Manky trying that on roller skates!  ;D   ;D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsfmDa4BlHk

Before ‘Rollerblades’, the 1970’s or poss early 80's (?) saw ‘Skeelers’, as an alternative to the traditional roller skate.

Ankle support wasn’t what’s currently available, so youngsters had to not only focus on moving along with no brakes, they also had to be wary of ankle injury!

B&W Skeelers photo.

Not a knee guard, wrist guard or elbow guard to be seen. ;)

You've got way too much free time Tony! :)
I had the choice of "quads" or "in-lines". I figured quads would be more stable, with a wheel at each corner, plus you can't flex sideways at the ankle as you can on in-lines, so hopefully less chance of a job threatening injury, (I walk for a living). Modern quads have a rigid plastic boot, like a ski boot, with a fleece lining. They use adjustable clasps rather than laces. Quite comfortable once they're on, but I haven't mastered getting them on & off on my own yet -took someone else to pull them off.
Simon Pollock, the pin striper & signwriter who's going to do the Kettering on my truck doors, is a born again skater. He's a similar age & build to me & took it up for exercise a year or so ago, having not skated since his teens. Now he belongs to a club & skates most weekends, as well as attending the weekly Guildford roller disco, playing in a roller derby team & occasionally joining the London Sunday morning road runs where dozens of skaters travel around various boroughs & parks.
He got me into it & knows the couple who run the lessons cos they also organise the roller disco.
I hate sport, but thought it'd be a fun way of getting a bit more exercise. Maybe :)

https://www.lfns.co.uk/

Your problem Mr. M is way too much time on your hands!! anyway, at your age I would have thought Wild Flower Pressing, or "Origami for Beginners, or suchlike would be far more sensible.... :D :D..Morrag

Used to do Origami as a teenager. I just fancied trying something new. I really don't want to spend the rest of my life in the garage.

2nd session this evening. Still no need to call the paramedics -I'm calling that a win :)

Looking good............

So if the second lesson was 'Standing Up', guessing third lesson will be 'Sitting Down'    ;D  ;D  ;D (sorry mate!)

Actually (although I jest) it does looks fun.

When I was a wee nipper, I used to roller skate on holiday at Butlins.
Spent so much time skating around I got blisters on my feet.
Not worry, a quick medical fix of a bit of "it won’t hurt" iodine sorted it!

 ;D
I can just about manage a lap of the sports hall unaided now. No falls yet, but several bouts of frantically windmilling like an epileptic octopus to stay upright.
More elephant than elegant :)
On the plus side, I've gained 3 inches in height & all the kids keep well out of my way.
I don't "do" sports of any kind -as you may have realised from my ballet dancer's physique -but used to go to the gym every night about 20 years ago. This gives you the same "high" -makes you feel happy & that you've achieved something when you leave.

skateboard next, then maybe a surf session ??

Yeah, then maybe alligator wrestling.

Which Butlins did you go to Tony? I went to Bognor.  I loved the skating there too. Loved the place but hated telling school friends where I'd been. Remember the essay most youngsters had to write on their return after the Summer, "What I Did On My Holidays"? Well we had to read it out too. Bognor said with a Brummie accent did not sound appealing at all.  ::)

Glad you're enjoying yourself Andy. It's good to try something different. I would like to have singing lessons. Just to be to able sing while listening to my music without ending up with a sore throat. They say it's all in the breathing. Sounds less dangerous than skating (at our age). Less chance of a broken hip!  :D

I've got a friend down in Bristol who sings in an amateur rock choir. They get together to sing just for the enjoyment of singing out loud in a large group.

Jay Jay
Butlins by the sea at Bognor Regis! Me too!

The skates used to be worn with your own shoes on, had a buckle strap that went around the ankle, and a lace-up nose that went around the front of the shoes, so the amount of soreness from the buckle and strap depended on the type of shoes/boots you turned up with.

Oh, and the skates didn’t have any in-built braking rubber block, you had to put one foot perpendicular and up against the heel of the other to slow down, or if you were flash, put yourself into a spin!

The area had a switch back wooden-railed switchback (similar to the queuing system found at airports) for those that didn’t want to venture out onto the concrete rink, which itself had either concrete walls or hefty wooden fences surrounding it.

Non of this fancy stuff Sir M plays with............ nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.............  ::)

Skates in the photo prob similar age to Sir M's pop

weren't they called Jacko skates or something? I remember flattening off the buckle up stands and nailing them to my first skate boards !! my sister was not happy  ;D ;D

plus the real fast ones had metal wheels.

Hah Hah!

Jaco skates were a particular make.

Couple of pics for some nostalgic memories  ;)

:) The ones I'm using are more like ski boots. Rigid plastic with a removable fleece liner. The pair I wore last week had 3 adjustable snap clasps. This week's had laces.
As I'm a wobbly beginner, the organisers tightened up the wheel bearings a bit so they didn't free wheel quite so much, not that you could notice it.

The Central Park dance skaters I saw back in the Summer.

https://youtu.be/mwTSlJfouiA

The rink in the picture, which I see is from Skegness, seems much bigger than the Bognor one unless it is the angle of the photo or something.

Those skates are very similar to the ones I had when I was about 8 or 9 yrs old and let's face it, there is not much  holding your foot in place. My older Brother took me to the top of a long steep hill near my Grans and gave me a push while I was wearing them. I still have the scar to prove it. It was a wonder I didn't break something or worse.

Week 3.
Still upright.

Reckon you took a change of clothing on the first week and had various photos taken to make us think you’re still upright!  ;D

Very fast shutter speed to capture the shot before I fell flat on my face!
It's hard work, but I think I am actually getting ever so slightly better each time. These beginners sessions in Ash Vale are just an hour a week for 4 weeks, then they're somewhere else -Haslemere I think, then back at Ash Vale again. The organisers, Heather & Pete of Disco Skate Events
https://discoskate.co.uk/
also arrange roller discos every week at the Guildford Spectrum sports centre. There's no way I'd inflict myself on proper skaters, but I really want to keep at it, so will continue these sessions as long as I can.
I was the only adult again this week, among a sea of super confident 7 year olds. They were playing basketball & running egg & spoon races in skates. I was too busy concentrating on staying on my wheels.

Man down, man down!
Last of the 4 weekly beginners skating sessions this evening & I blew my perfect score of no falls :(
Mr Simon Nefarious Pollock -the dastardly fiend who talked me into this self torture, arrived to check on my progress. It's his birthday today so he brought sticky buns -not easy to eat when you're wearing wrist guards, but thank you -& happy birthday mate :)
Having consumed his commestibles, he then proved that he can skate & I can't, gliding effortlessly around the hall as I stumbled after him. Yes, I'm still struggling with the whole balance/confidence thing, but I'm getting there, very, very slowly & I'm not going to give up. Si's been skating for 4 years, I've been at it for 4 hours.
How did I end up on my arse?
Lift your foot up & show me your wheel bearings Andy.
-whump!
What a dirty rotten trick, but that's roller derby players for you :(
No skating sessions for the next couple of weeks because of school half terms, (no age limit, but it's mainly kids), so I'll have forgotten everything by the time I go again.
I WILL be back though. Thanks to Heather & Pete of Disco Skate Events for encouraging me & not telling me how useless I am. :)

Never mind Andy, 1 out of 4's not bad.

Are you ready for the next Comic Con or were you just hoping someone would beam you up to spare your blushes?  :D

:)
When I told my landlady I'd fallen, she asked if I fell forwards or backwards. I actually have no idea! I was so busy trying to get up again -you try it with wheels on your feet, that I didn't take any notice. It didn't hurt at all, which is probably also because I was busy trying to recover. Probably a good thing because now I don't have so much fear of falling.

.

Still plugging away at the skating.
Just scooting up & down the garage for an hour each evening, working on my balance & just getting comfortable & confident on wheels.
My 92 year old landlady hoards ... anything & everything I think, so her garage is full of old furniture.
Is there a technical term for crashing into a wardrobe I wonder? The Narnia Manouvre?

Still practicing.

 :-\  ::)
That is the best I could come up with to represent a groan.  :D

:)

First night back at the sports hall after the organisers had a break during half term.
I'm definitely getting better, but only in straight lines. Every time I attempt any kind of manouvre I straighten up, when I should actually be crouching lower. Standing upright throws your centre of balance further back & before you know it your wheels go out from under you & you end up flat on your back -ask me how I know that :(
More people there tonight. A couple of parents having a go & quite a few more kids, which really focuses you on learning how to avoid them -I don't want to be responsible for mowing down some 5 year old.
Simon came along again tonight & gave me a little one on one tuition. It helped, but I'm pretty sure he exerts some sort of gravitational pull, like a skating black hole, as I only seem to hit the deck when he glides up alongside me.
One fall tonight, but it was a heavy one, landing on my back with my arm behind me. Thank God for wrist guards, (like fingerless gloves with hard plastic splints either side of your wrist). Nothing broken, but my hand's a bit tender at the moment. Still, there must be some coolness in being able to say "What this? Oh it's just a roller skating injury" when you're pushing 60 :)
Back again next week for more punishment.

You're bloody bonkers, you know that?   Keep being bonkers though, it's better than being old!

Agreed. :) Keep at it Andy.

I'm calling it a sports injury -which makes me an athlete :)
I'm determined to master it. At 5 quid for an hour's session, (which goes really fast), I'd quite happily keep going back every week forever. The couple that organise it also run a 5 hour roller disco evening every couple of weeks at the big sports centre in the middle of Guildford. That's also just a fiver, but there's no way I could inflict myself on real skaters yet.
I'm heading back to New York in June for my 4th visit in 2 years. There's a funky roller disco in the middle of Central Park every Sunday evening. No, I absolutely wouldn't be tempted! -but I'd love to be able to just gently skate through the park.

Gently skating through the park is probably not that far from possible - not much changing direction except gently, not needing to stop very often!

Apart from avoiding the horse drawn carriages, & pedal powered rickshaws, & joggers, & skate boarders, & cops with guns, & other skaters :)

Ah.........

New shoes!
Well, roller boots anyway.
I've been going to beginners roller skating sessions for 5 or 6 weeks now, having reached 57 years old without ever having so much as put on a skate before. I can now kinda stride in a straight line & eventually snow plough to a halt, but more complicated manouvres, like cornering, are still beyond me.
I'm determined to get this though. I'll learn if it kills me -which is a distinct possibility.
Heather & Pete of Disco Skate Events in Surrey have leant me a pair of boots so I can practice at home, but today I visited Oli's Skate Shop in Ferndown, Dorset to buy a pair of my own.
They only sell online, so were kinda surprised when some idiot turned up at their house this morning -well, it was the address on their Google advert, but invited me in & took the time to discuss what was best for me, (no, giving up wasn't suggested, though they did ask if the guy who encouraged me to start was genuinely trying to kill me. After trying on a few makes & styles, I settled for these. 50 quid a pair. They're called Mayhem, which seemed appropriate.
Much lighter & more flexible than the "Bahuer" style rigid plastic boots I've been using -part of the reason for buying my own at this stage was that I didn't want to get used to the heavier ones then have to change at a later date. I was concerned a less rigid boot would make me more prone to going over sideways & breaking an ankle, (not good when I walk for a living), but I was assured that isn't the case.
The bearings are brand new so they roll a lot easier than the previous ones -maybe a little too easily as just standing still & breathing, I find myself rocking several inches back & forth.
I had a quick practice in them in the garage this evening & they feel completely different.
Has my skating magically improved?
Harr, ha, ha!! ....no.

.

The new boots feel so different. Although, as Heather the session organiser pointed out, the wheels are tightened until they hardly spin at all, they just seem to roll so much faster.
2 falls.
One when I rolled to a halt facing the wall & I think I rolled backwards -wheels went from under me & I virtually slid face first down the brickwork.
Second was more dramatic -lots of very young kids there tonight, scattering frisbees, cones, foam sticks & footballs everywhere. The end of the hall was littered with stuff. While negotiating it & planning to stop against the wall, I think I did the same thing again -slight roll backwards, over correct, face first on the deck. Unfortunately there was a wooden bench between me & the floor & in trying to avoid smacking my face into the corner of it, I hit it hard with the wrist I hurt last time, as well as smacking the floor with my ankle.
I'll live but think I'm going to be limping in the morning. The wrist is really tender -again, but hopefully nothing broken.
I refuse to let this beat me! When I'm striding, I'm O.K & I'm gradually improving the cornering, but seem to have lost the ability to stop in the new boots.
Might forego the garage practice for a few days while I heal up & am tempted to miss next week's session in case I do enough damage to stop me going on holiday the following week, but really don't want to -don't want to end up scared to get back up & try again.

Well that's me off work for a couple of days. We walk an average of 10 miles a day at the Post Office & I can't even get my shoe on this morning. S-o painful. Don't think I've broken anything cos I've still got full movement & neither my wrist or ankle are swollen, but they bloomin' hurt!
Why the hell am I doing this?!

I really would give next weeks skating a miss. Even if you don't break something, being on a plane with an injury, is no fun at all !!!

Yeah, I thought the same Dave.
It's just a hobby -not worth ruining the trip for.
If I have too many absences from work I'll lose my job, so any more big falls & I'd have to give up, but I would really like to achieve this.

Phoned in sick at 6.0 clock this morning.
Received a warning letter about my absence at 10.

Fckers

Get yourself a doctors note and tell em to stick their warning

32 years in the job.
I've worked there literally since before most of my managers were born.
You're allowed 7 days without a doctor's certificate. It's my day off on Wednesday so, having received that letter, I'm tempted to stay off until Thursday now.

Good idea, it will give your bruised bits more time to heal!

How about an alternative hobby, like Duvet Rolling for instance, or Parachute Packing, or.....well I'm sure you get my drift Mr. M!! ;D ;D ;D

Stamp collecting!
I really don't want to admit defeat & give up. I'm enjoying the challenge of learning something completely new, but just wish it wasn't quite so painful!
Every adult I talk to, learnt to skate as kids & are back in the groove within minutes of starting again. I never, ever skated, so I'm starting completely from scratch, with the added handicap of being nearly 60 years old! It's tough.
Still aching, but it's easing. Probably O.K for work again on Monday. I'm not bothered about Royal Mail, but don't want to let my van buddy down.
The skate sessions I've been going to have become full of small children. Kids are totally unpredictable -half are on skates & the rest are siblings that their parents have brought along -they run around the hall, usually looking in the opposite direction to where they're running. They kick foam footballs about, throw soft play frisbees, swing foam wands around & scatter stuff all over the floor. The organisers are lovely people & believe in teaching kids to skate through play -but it's a nightmare if you're an unsteady adult just trying to master the basics. I'm trying to learn while desperately avoiding the obstacles. Apparently punching small children in the head's frowned upon, but I'd probably do more damage to myself by swinging a punch on skates anyway.
The people I bought the new boots from also run beginners sessions down in Dorset. They have a skate disco once a week, followed by an adult beginners hour where they assign a "skate marshal" to newbies. The Dorset one is later in the evening & about an hour's drive away, so about the same as reaching the Guildford session in the evening rush hour. Not trying to blame my own ineptitude on small gits ...children, but maybe that would be a better environment to gain my confidence in. I'm not going to risk trying again before my Japanese holiday in about 10 days time, so will give next week's session a miss -but Tokyo has a purpose built roller rink & it's s-o-o tempting! :)

Bought a new pair of Death Boots today.
Might be a while before I get round to trying again, but I'm determined to master skating eventually.
Something to do indoors on Winter evenings.
I hear A & E is nice at this time of year :)

I was just thinking the same thing 😨