Manky Monkey Motors

Mary had a little lamb
She kept it on a pylon
10,000 volts up its bum
Turned its wool to Nylon


Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead
Now Mary takes the lamb to school
Between two chunks of bread


Mary had a little lamb
she also had a duck,
she put them in the garden
to see if they would f...


Mary had a little lamb
she also had a bear
I often saw her little lamb
but never saw her bare

Mary had a little lamb
she fed it on cream crackers
every time it dropped a crumb
she kicked it in its Knackers


mary had a little lamb
with which she used to sleep
that lamb turned out to be a ram
and now she has some sheep


Mary had a little lamb
its fleece was white and whispy
along came foot and mouth disease
and now its black and crispy


Mary had a little lamb
she kept it in a bucket
every time the lamb got out
the bull dog tried to F***et


mary had a little lamb
she also had a cat
tommy cooper came along
and killed it
just like that


 :o :o :o

nice one t/b made me smile  ;D

mary had a little lamb

the doctors were astonished  :P

jack and gill went up the hill
to fetch a pale of water
gill forgot to take the pill
and now shes got a daughter



jack and gill went up the hill
so jack could lick gills f***y
jack got a shock
and a mouth full of c**k
coz gills a pre-op tranny

Higher up the mountain, greener grows the grass

Down comes a billy goat, sliding on his........







.....overcoat!

little boy blue come blow your horn                                                                     the sheeps in the meadow the cows in the corn
where is the boy who looks after the sheep
he,s under the haystack with little bow peep                                               

Mary had a little Lamb
The Doctor was surprised,
but when Old McDonald had a farm
he could'nt believe his eyes.

Mary had a baby
she called him Sonny Jim
she took him to the bathtub
to see if he could swim
He swam to the bottom
he swam to the top
Mary got excited
and pulled him by the........
Cocktail whiskey
seven and six a glass
If you do not like it
stick it up your ............
ass no questions tell no lies
ever seen a chinaman
doing up his..............
Fly away peter
fly away paul
If you do not like it
stick it up your...........
all things bright and beautiful...........

Mary Mary quite contrary
How does your garden grow?

Listen you prat I live in a flat
How the heck would I know?

Thats a new one for me, BG, loved it. Clean enough to use in school with the 3rd years too. Thanks


Mary had a little skirt

with splits right up the sides

and everywhere that Mary went

the boys could see her thighs.

Mary had another skirt

’twas split right up the front

…But she didn’t wear that one often

There was a little girl,

Who had a little curl

Right in the middle of her forehead.

And when she was good,

She was very very good,

But when she was bad

She got a fur coat, jewels, a Waterfront apartment and a sports car.

Loved that one too, Bg, keep 'em coming. ( I need some new material!!! ;D ;D ;D)


here was a little girl,

Who had a little curl

Right in the middle of her forehead.

And when she was good,

She was very very good,

But when she was bad

She was fantastic.

mary had a little bike
she rode it through the mud
everytime the wheel went round
a spoke went up her F_______

Mary had a little bike
She rode it back to front
Every time the wheel went round
The spoke went up her.........
Trouser leg coz she was'nt wearing cycle clips

Mary had a little pig
she could'nt stop it grunting
she tied it to a 5 bar gate
and kicked its little head in.

Mary had a little lamb
His fleece was black as soot
And into Mary's bread and jam
His sooty foot 'e put.

mary had a little lamb
and it was full of frollocks
it jumped over the garden gate
and landed on the other side.

ole mother hubbard went to the cupboard
to fetch poor rover a bone
when she bent over
rover took over
she found rover had a bone of his own.

the grand ole duke of york
had ten thousand men
if he had the energy
he,d have em all again

there was an ole woman that lived in a shoe
she had so many children
her ueterus fell out

humpty dumpty sat on a wall
humpty dumpty had a great fall
all the kings horses and kings men
said feck me egg for breakfast again

simple simon met the pieman
on the way to the fair
said simple simon to the pieman
what you got in there?
said the pieman to simple simon
pies you twat!

Mary had a little lamb,
Its mouth was full of blisters,
Now it's burning in a field,
With its scabby brothers and sisters.

Little miss Muffet,
Was sat on her tuffet,
With ababy newly born,
'cos it wasn't the spider,
That sat down beside her,
It was little boy blue with the horn

The grand ole duke of york
had ten thousand men
He marched then up to the top of the hill
And had them all again.