Manky Monkey Motors

Flap & I spent the afternoon at my brother's workshop on a farm in Marlborough today. I've been given a 4.2 straight 6, auto, fuel injected XJ 6 Jag as an engine donor for my hotrod project. We've got to pull it apart fairly soon & get rid of the remains, but obviously had to test drive it first so spent a happy half hour hooning around the farmyard in best Dukes of Hazzard fashion. No jumps unfortunately but lots of wheel spinning & slidey cornering. Whoo hoo! That's going to be SOO quick in a featherweight 2 seater fibreglass bodied rod!
Took one look at the fuel injection setup with hoses & wires all over the place -& decided to bin it & fit a bank of 3 polished SU carbs instead. Don't need the power steering or the heater or the air con either. Air conditioning? It won't even have a roof ;D I also pulled out the lovely cream leather rear seat. Going to make myself a very comfy new sofa for my flat. Just needs a tubular framework made up & powder coated.
Going back next week to carry on disembowling it.

.

It is sacrilege. It was a great car. It was either this or give it a roof chop, lower it and paint it Matt black.  ;D

How DOES she do that big writing thing?
Yeah, we did toy with the idea of chopping it or even cabrioleting it! Gorgeous car to drive. First time I've tried an automatic -interesting! Got a Sport option on the gearbox -press a button & it won't change up until it redlines. The engine is physically hee-uge. Gawd knows how we're going to cram it all into the rod chassis. The results will be either an enormous grin inducing experience or a white knuckle ride of terror.  :o  Need any spares Wizz?

After seeing what you're doing to the Jag I definitely ain't going to tell you how to do the big writing, ^or_how<sup>to_dothis or this.

My Jag is also a 4.2 auto. Never look under the bonnet, but because there's plenty of bonnet, I assume there's plenty of engine. Trying to think if there's any spares we need - the boot gas struts might be useful because mine doesn't work and you have to be careful not to decapitate yourself.

Why was it off the road in the first place? What was wrong with it?</sup>

Already taken the bonnet struts off & put them aside, just cos they looked useful -no bonnet, boot or doors on the rod, just climb over the side to get in. Just as well it'll only be 2 inches off the ground! Boot struts are yours madam. We need the engine, gearbox, prop, maybe the back axle, pedals. Think that's about it. The motor is enormous, like a truck engine, but runs really sweetly. The fan shroud was clattering a bit against the blades after I hit a farmyard pothole a little too enthusiastically & Flap nearly slid it into the slurry pit, but should go in the rod with just a quick wash & brush up. Not going to poke around inside the casings if we don't need to.
The previous owner is the guy who bought my Triumph. Bugger won't let me have it back for less then 3 grand. >:( It's sat in the corner of Steve's workshop just gathering dust. Such a waste of a gorgeous bike. :'( He picked up the Jag as a running MOT failure for 20 quid cos he wanted one of the rear door glasses -then broke it getting it out. So it's been sat on the farm for a few weeks with the interior getting wet but still basically sound. Anything else you want cos it'll be scrapped once we've scavenged what we need? 
I really gotta figure that big, small writing thing out. >:(

Great cars to drive - I love mine, although it is, like all Jags, thirsty. Last car I expected to like. The FYM insisted I took it when I went up to my Mum's a few months ago, much to my reluctance because it's the size of a small county. I really didn't want to drive it ... by the time I'd done a hundred miles I loved it. Have never given it back.  ;D

And I drive it a lot slower than anything else we own - because I can.  ;D

hate the bloody things!! On good thing is spiking the tanks of the ones owned by flash toffs ;D ;D ;D

How do you tell the flash toffs from the Manky ones?

do you need the seats mister? can I have the seats please mister?

jags are yummy

wish I could afford an XK140 tho ;D

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I've already baggsied the rear seat. Lovely unblemished cream leather. Going to make a framework for it in either powdercoated steel tube or, as Steve is a jolly clever carpenter & joiner type chappy, that wood stuff, & instal it as a very classy sofa in my little flat -complete with fold down arm rest :D Was in "Cargo" this afternoon & they sell a club style chair that would match it perfectly.
The front seats are incredibly comfy & are fully electric -as you said in another thread, be wary of electrics, especially electric chairs! But Steve keeps saying they'd be pretty cool mounted on a chrome plated base with a control panel so you could move 'em up & down & back & forth. I'd toyed with using them in my hotrod but don't think they'd really suit, or fit, it. Only damage is to the edge piping on the driver's one, but I happen to know an auto upholsterer in Newbury who I'm sure could fix that.
Yours if you want 'em Hon. Err, why?
About 15 to 20 years ago when I was married, (God, was it really that long ago?!), I used to work cash in hand in the afternoons for a neighbour who restored Jags for a living. I was only a grease monkey doing odd jobs in the workshop but got to drive a couple of restored XK120 dropheads, (soft tops), & a few mark 2s. The twos were my favourites. Gorgeously sumptious motors & I could pretend to be a villain from The Sweeney. The bad guys always drove a white Jag cos the Beeb had some library footage of one crashing over a cliff that was used in countless 60s & 70s chase sequences. Not many cliffs in Reagan's manor though. I'll shut up shall I?

The rear seat will make a nice sofa - cheapest leather sofa you'll ever have! You could get the front seat mounted on frames too (not sure about installing the electrics too - I can't even work the ones I have in my Jag, but then again I've never had a car with [four/i] electric controls to adjust the seat!!). My Mum has a couple of Lotus Elan seats made into 'proper' seats in her office.

Didn't actually find the seat controls but Steve told me they were & he knows just about everything. We were too busy racing round the farm in it pretending to be Bo & Luke Duke. I actually had a quick look on Ebay last night to see if I could find a 500 quid bargain XJ6. If you spot one let me know cos I'd be seriously interested in buying one now.
I was thinking of mounting the front seats on 70s style swivel bases, but my compact & bijou flatlet ain't big enough for the full 3 piece Jag suite.

You probably could pick one up for around that, but, to be honest, I wouldn't advise it. At around 15-18mpg I couldn't afford to run mine as my only car. I know you probably wouldn't do that much mileage but they are expensive to run. Then again, what other luxury motor can you pick up so cheaply? Mine probably cost around £40,000 new (and it's a F-reg), and we sure as hell didn't pay that for it. But there is a reason why they're cheap, and that's because they do cost to run.

I haven't owned a car for years but these freezing winter days are getting to be a real pain on the bike. Selling the Honda will leave me transportless till the trike's done so I've seriously thought about a 6 month MOT banger. It'd only be for weekend use & I'd ditch it as soon as I'm back on 3 wheels. Actually, for the mileage I do, the hire cars work out quite cheap.

Sounds like a plan - although don't forget to factor tax and insurance into that too.

Some of the cars I've picked up for hardly anything have turned out to be the most reliable. About seven years ago bought a Nissan Stanza for £100 with a full ticket, intending to run it around for two or three weeks while I was between cars. Ended up keeping it for over two years (along with other cars) and it was incredibly reliable.

I had a Talbot something-or-other like that. It was so good I bought another the next year -which turned out to be a motorised nightmare. The first Moggy Minor I owned was meant to be just Winter transport. Ended up joining the owners' club & buying 2 more.

Now that is sad.  ;D

Wizz
Hater Of Morris Minors Except The Pick-Ups

Aww, they're lovely little cute 'n' cuddly cars! I'd happily have another one but the wrecks I used to pay a couple of hundred quid for are now labelled "classics" & cost a couple of thousand.

thank you mister monkey - if you don't want em for owt I'd love to have em ;D

I'm curious now! -what you got planned for them? Will try & persuade Flap to take his Landrover when we go back next weekend & bring them back for you.

Latest email from Steve Who Knows Everything: The Jag isn't a 4.2 XK, but is in fact a 4 litre, 235 horse power AJ6 with 4 speed auto box. Our little Reliants are a puny 40 bhp!

That was the first question that occurred to me when I saw your post!   ;D





Like this!

Don't you just hate show-offs!  :D
I've tried every combination of those damn tags & can't figure 'em out. Neither can Rainbow so it's not just my usual daftness. Not fair!

A Jag engine. My rod. Hmmm. ???

Think we need a new tape measure. Big engine into bath tub, ummm  ???
I cant do the big writing thing either.

That's no help -you're as stoopid as I am! Jags fit into trikes too. Not sure what model these are but the inlet & exhaust are on the opposite side to ours.

But not into bath tubs  ;D

With enough hacksaw blades & sticky tape we can make anything fit anything.  ;D

But not in less than a year...  ;D

If they have two jags outside their huge house, with a gravel driveway that takes half an hour to sneak up, then they ain't manky ones ;D ;D ;D

I usually go for ones owned by blokes that wear wigs and have little wooden hammers.............................. ;)

My grey hair's all my own & I've got a big ol' club hammer. :D

Not fair! >:(
Everyone knows how to use my site better than I do!

 >:( I'm going to sulk in a minute. Stomping my virtual feet & pouting.

That's it! I'm going to go check the Haynes manual for the site & find out how to do that.  >:(

• Find book
• Read it
• Make tea
• Lose book
• Throw strop
• Ask Yoda

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Stop it, stop it, stop it! I can't even do that big full stop thing.

I know......

(http://users.pandora.be/eforum/emoticons4u/happy/759.gif)

La la la, I'm not reading.

Okay then.

While you're not reading you can be writing 'cause you owes me an email...

Does it involve big letters?
Answered your one about John wanting wheel info. ;)

If it involves big letters then you're stuffed aren't you?

Did you answer my answer to your version of War & Peace?

Wizz
Confused

And words of more than two sillabulls.
That was a PM. Have filed the Vegas info away for future reference. Looking at changing my holiday dates to take in the Bakersfield meet 2nd weekend in October. Steve's going too. What does your next BSH instalment cover?

Next instalment, Bakersfield - Pacific.

If I can't get to Paso, I'm seriously considering Bakersfield.

That was the original plan when the World Championships were going to be held at Morgan Hill at the end of October - go out early for the Bakersfield Rod Run. Then, of course, the venue was changed to Las Vegas. As I won't be going to the World Championships this year, it'll probably be a toss up between the Cruisin' Nationals and Bakersfield. I'll get to one or the other for definite, and maybe both.

Did you paddle in the Pacific?
Will pass this month's BSH on to Steve when I see him at the weekend so he can compare notes. Determined to get out there this year somehow. £2.53 in my Vegas fund so far.  :)

Pm me the dates when you know them please. We have to book our Post Office holidays a year in advance so I had to guess at the dates. It's possible to swap them nearer the time but not guaranteed. I may be going sick in early October.

6-8th October.

For which? Bakersfield or the Nationals? Need to shift my hols then. I've got the last week of September & the first of October so would be travelling back by then.

Bakersfield. October. Famoso Raceway.

Paso Robles is the last weekend of May. If I go I might stay over and go to the 29 Palms Streetfest the following weekend.

Bakersfield's actually earlier than I thought. I thought it was usually the second weekend of October.

Yeah, that's what Steve said.
Sitting here reading the new W & W catalogue, (the one with the printed hacksaw blade bookmark). 90% Harley stuff but some great old photos used to illustrate the pages. Fancied a pop-up fuel cap for my Sportster tank on the trike but not at 137 Euros!

Good innit - though they've never quite surpassed the year of the 3D catalogue.

With 3D glasses? Lent that one to a mate & never got it back. Can't afford anything in it but it's nice to browse for ideas on a Winter's afternoon.

That's the one. Hours of entertainment.

Why is Harley gear so damn expensive? There's so much of it about, made by so many companies, you'd think it'd be dirt cheap. Need a second & possibly third mortgage to build a bike from the big book of W & W.
Conversely, why are Flap's Landrover parts so ridiculously cheap? You can rebuild the whole thing with new components for about 2 pounds, fifty. Was going to drag the Jag fuel tank out to use in the rod until Flap pointed out a brand new Landy one in a more sensible cube shape is less than 50 quid.

The Flapster & I trundled back out to Marlborough yesterday to continue scavenging the Jag. Damn it was cold up there on a windswept Wiltshire hillside! We were sat in the Landy, eating doughnuts for lunch & watched as the wind pushed the Jag 12 feet across the yard. As it was heading for a friend's car we continued munching until we thought perhaps we should do something about it.
Only 2 engine bolts holding the motor in & the gearbox sits on a weird coil spring arrangement on the g/box cross member, so actually easier to remove than we thought. Cable operated gearchange came out suprisingly easily too. Prop shaft is on a splined sliding joint so just pulled apart. Only real pain was having to cut through the exhaust with an angle grinder. Jags are built like Sherman tanks. Everythings ridiculously heavy duty. The prop is about 4 inches in diameter & the exhaust pipe is 1/8 of an inch thick. The engine alone weighs a bloomin' ton -literally. The boot was a convenient place to put all the bits we don't need.
 

Having unbolted everything we stood about for a while, vaguely wondering how the hell we were going to lift several hundredweight of engine out. No problem. One of Steve's mates disappeared & soon came chugging back in the farm's forklift. Didn't have the keys so he'd "found something that fitted"! I slung a strap around the engine, we hooked it up to a chain & up she went. 2 1/2 tonnes of Jag lifted clean off the ground. Literally shook the car until the engine fell out! That's the way to do it!
Next job now is to get back in my lock up & strip the axles & steering from my Sherpa van, bring them over to Steve's workshop & decide exactly what we're going to do with it all. 

Taken everything we need from the poor old Jag now. Anyone want to buy a restoration project? I was given the car for nothing & we found £1.50 in loose change while pulling it apart so this project's actually in profit at the moment!

You evil, evil, EVIL bastard!!!

 ;D ;D
Die Jaguar die!
Fear not, fair maiden. 'Tis only sleeping. The beast shall live once more. May not be quite so welcome at the golf club in it's new guise though.

It was good fun, in a 'this is a very nice car and we're destroying it' sort of way  ;D
Want one of those big fork lift things now. It was effortless.

Like ScrapHeap Challenge in reverse. We start off with useful stuff & end up with a pile of scrap. Anyone else want us to look after their cars for them?

Um, no.


Never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never ...

We hid all the dead bits in the boot & now the car's heading for the crusher so there'll be no evidence left.
Looking for a set of triple SUs to suit now if you hear of any.