Manky Monkey Motors

London has Big Ben, Paris has the Eiffel Tower and Rome the Colosseum; these easily recognisable symbols have done wonders for their host cities to build brand awareness over hundreds of years. Not to be outdone by these giants of tourism, Dorking Council has now added a monument for all who enter Dorking to gaze open mouthed at. Standing in the middle of the A24 roundabout this morning was a giant Cock (a Cockerel I mean - *thanks Alan*).

Quite what the world will make of this symbolic gesture, particularly in the US where the word ‘Dork’ is in itself already subject to ridicule, is anyone’s guess. I can hear them now in Kentucky “Have you heard about those dorks in ‘Ingaland’? They’ve erected a giant cock in their town!” Let’s hope this monument doesn’t become renowned for boosting fertility like the Cerne Abbas giant, otherwise coming to Dorking to ‘touch the Cock’ will cause havoc on the roads (most of which are closed right now).

The reason a Cockerel has been chosen to represent the inhabitants is surely obvious to all? …It’s because the most famous thing Dorking has produced is a special breed of Cockerel – with three legs or two heads or some other deformity (I forget the specifics). I think there are two left, reportedly living in sin with the Golden Goose.

There are other products of Dorking of course: Laurence Olivier was born near the town centre, and one of the Pilgrim fathers allegedly used to get pissed every Sunday night in the King’s Arms (there are blue wall plaques commemorating both of these). There was a famous snooker player who was also allegedly found drunk and wandering the streets singing the theme tune from Big Break, and finally there are the caves beneath South Street where smugglers are believed to have stashed their dodgy booze.

Perhaps with so many booze connections they should have just erected a giant pint glass? David Blaine could have come to the opening ceremony and stood inside it for a few weeks to raise the town’s profile. With so many pubs in Dorking (there’s allegedly one per member of the population) this probably would have been the best way to represent the town… at least until Sainsbury’s finally get their way and build their superstore on top of the Malt House.

Found this on a roundabout in Dorking this morning. An 8 foot Stainless Steel chicken.
-Why?!