Manky Monkey Motors

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to  Mike, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a  doctor."  "Listen,  you don't have to spend that kind of money,"  Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic  computer down at Aldi's. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten  seconds and costs ten dollars. A lot cheaper  than a doctor."

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to  Aldi's. He deposits ten dollars and  the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and  waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You  have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water  and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two  weeks. Thank you for shopping at  Aldi's."

That evening, while  thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be  fooled. He  mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter,  and a sperm sample from himself for good measure. Joe  hurries back to Aldi's, eager to check the  results.

He deposits ten dollars, pours in his  concoction, and awaits the results. The  computer prints the  following:
1. Your  tap water is too hard. Get a water  softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.  (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a  cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4.  Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours.  Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

Thank you for shopping at Aldi.

 :D