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Bus Boy
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« Reply #60 on: June 13, 2011, 07:59:19 PM » |
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 paddy & murphy |
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I never wanted to be normal anyways!
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Bus Boy
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« Reply #61 on: June 13, 2011, 08:02:24 PM » |
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 paddy & murphy |
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I never wanted to be normal anyways!
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zakboy
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« Reply #62 on: June 13, 2011, 09:02:05 PM » |
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the Irish government took delivery today of 100 septic tank,s........ an irish spokesman said they plan to make an invasion of the UK main land once the have learned how to drive them
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #63 on: June 14, 2011, 06:57:31 PM » |
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Murphy said to paddy "how come men fart more than women" paddy replied i tink its because they cant shut up long enough to build any pressure up
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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WAYNE999
Sr. Member
Karma: 12
Posts: 462
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« Reply #64 on: June 14, 2011, 07:54:30 PM » |
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how many irish does take to make a choc chip cookie? .......................................................
..........13
one to make the dough twelve to peel the smarties
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Oh bugger we need a bigger hammer
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zakboy
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« Reply #65 on: June 14, 2011, 10:03:49 PM » |
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paddy,s wife was in the bath with 4 year old paddy junior,.....junior said to mum pointing at her patch whats that mum,.....thinking fast mum said "thats me sponge junior",....."oh yes" replied junior "the baby sitter has one just the same"...... "how do you know that" said mum....... junior replied "iv seen her washing dads face with it".
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #66 on: June 14, 2011, 10:12:16 PM » |
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paddy had not been home foe three days, so his wife reported him missing, a few day later the police turn up at Paddy's door the officer say,s to paddy,s wife "I'm afraid we have found your husband body floating in the river", Paddy's wife replies "no it cant be him paddy couldn't swim"
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« Last Edit: June 14, 2011, 10:14:01 PM by zakboy »
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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JayJay
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« Reply #67 on: June 14, 2011, 11:47:18 PM » |
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I wish I could remember these as so many of them are laugh out loud jokes. Loved the tree air freshener story. Keep them coming.  |
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The secret of eternal youth is arrested development - Alice Roosevelt Longworth
If there is love, smallpox scars are as pretty as dimples - Japanese proverb
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired - Jules Renard
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zakboy
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« Reply #68 on: June 15, 2011, 01:58:20 AM » |
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thank you JayJay,glad you are enjoying them.  |
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #69 on: June 15, 2011, 02:18:02 AM » |
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paddy went in to a petrol station today and asked for five pounds worth of gas,.....the cashier farted then gave him a receipt.
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #70 on: June 15, 2011, 02:42:00 AM » |
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A recent survey in England asked the following question:
'Are there too many foreigners in this country now?'
Answers:
20%: YES
10% : NO
70% : معهد الأمن العالمي بواشنط
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« Last Edit: February 22, 2012, 02:32:56 PM by zakboy »
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zakboy
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« Reply #71 on: June 15, 2011, 03:00:49 AM » |
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the correct insurance companies of sex...........
Sex with your wife.........Legal and General
Sex with your future wife........Mutual Trust
Sex with your secretary.......... Employers Liability
Sex with a prostitute........... Commercial Union
Sex on the telephone.......Direct Line
Sex with your biographer....Quote Me Happy
Sex in a hurry............Insure and Go
Sex with your boyfriend..... Standard Life
Sex with a transvestite.......... Confused.com
Sex with someone different......Go compare.com
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #72 on: June 15, 2011, 09:25:36 AM » |
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It was announced to day by a spokesman for the new Irish Anglo American space program, that indeed the Irish scientist paddy Mac,Murphy had wrongly calculated the fuel needed to to get the first joint Irish American rocket lunch to it,s destination.......... when it clearly fell short by a few hundred thousand miles http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtevGuxAaiY |
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« Last Edit: June 15, 2011, 12:25:20 PM by zakboy »
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zakboy
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« Reply #73 on: June 15, 2011, 01:06:11 PM » |
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paddy was in the pub sitting on a stool at the bar as pi-sed as a fart,.... when a woman walked in the pub with a chiwawa on a lead she stood next to paddy waitting to be served when paddy spewed up all over the dog,......... he looked down at the dog then said to the woman, "now theres a thing i don't remember eating that".
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #74 on: June 15, 2011, 02:12:00 PM » |
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paddy was flying over Iraq to day when two flying carpets mounted with machine guns pulled a long side his jet fighter, paddy managed to shoot down both carpets,but was reprimanded on his return to base when it was discoverd they had both been allied carpets.
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