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zakboy
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« Reply #1230 on: December 25, 2011, 01:10:43 AM » |
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I can't believe nobody even congratulated me on the hat trick I scored today.
Although I guess it would have been a bit more impressive if we hadn't lost by 2-1.
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #1231 on: December 25, 2011, 01:12:35 AM » |
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I said to my wife, "There's a rumour going around that I got drunk and had sex with a Chinese transvestite last night, don't believe it, it's not true."
"Where did it come from?" she asked.
I said, "Thailand."
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #1232 on: December 25, 2011, 01:13:47 AM » |
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They have now discovered a cure for a headache and an earache!
Stay single.
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #1233 on: December 25, 2011, 01:23:00 AM » |
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I almost found a fiver on the street this morning.
I was £4.99 short.
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #1234 on: December 25, 2011, 01:31:26 AM » |
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Is it ironic that when Korean people cry it looks like English people laughing?
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #1235 on: December 25, 2011, 01:33:51 AM » |
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As I walked out of the Gents last night, I noticed a sign that read:
'Please Leave These Toilets Clean & Tidy'
So I had a quick wash in the sink and tucked my shirt in.
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zakboy
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« Reply #1236 on: December 25, 2011, 01:41:54 AM » |
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You gotta love the taxi driver that just gave me a lift home, he was going on "I love my job, I own this car, I've got my own business, I'm my own boss, NO one tells me what to do"
I said "turn left here"
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spanners
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« Reply #1237 on: December 25, 2011, 01:46:29 AM » |
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zak,,,
do you realise something
you help keep us going when time,s are tough
thanks,,,
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LIVE FAST and DIE YOUNG,, past 50 AND STILL HERE NOW. WAITING. FOR. THE. GRIM. REAPER
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zakboy
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« Reply #1238 on: December 25, 2011, 01:59:25 AM » |
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Thats very kind of you spanners
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spanners
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« Reply #1239 on: December 25, 2011, 02:03:01 AM » |
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Thats very kind of you spanners
tis true make,s one think this time of year |
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LIVE FAST and DIE YOUNG,, past 50 AND STILL HERE NOW. WAITING. FOR. THE. GRIM. REAPER
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zakboy
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« Reply #1240 on: December 25, 2011, 07:58:18 PM » |
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Just found this text on my wife's phone:
"Had a great session last night. Can't wait till the next session.
Love your sex kitten x".
How the fu-k has the cat learned to text?
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zakboy
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« Reply #1241 on: December 25, 2011, 08:00:00 PM » |
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Rangers chairman, Craig Whyte has had his phone hacked by The Sun.
They put £10 credit on it.
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Give me the strength to except the things in life i can not change
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zakboy
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« Reply #1242 on: December 25, 2011, 08:02:05 PM » |
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Whoever created the "Knock Knock" joke should be given a No-bell prize!
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zakboy
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« Reply #1243 on: December 25, 2011, 08:06:52 PM » |
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David Cameron makes a pre-Christmas visit to Afghanistan:
Where's the friendly fire when you need it?
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zakboy
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« Reply #1244 on: December 25, 2011, 08:08:43 PM » |
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Me and my mate were having something to eat before hitting the clubs.
"You know what would be mental?" he asked. "Mixing some Nitrous Oxide into the gravy..."
"Don't be stupid," I told him. "You'll be a laughing-stock."
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